No Hesitation
by jenamy
Summary: He steals the words right off the tip of my tongue, devouring me with his own words, creating an unfair battle. Our roles reversed, usually I can never shut up and he hardly ever speaks.  First time posting so feel free to tell me if I'm abysmal at this.


This is the first McShep I'll have posted here; I've others on Mibba. So if it blows, feel free to tell me-I'm open for all types of feedback. (I personally think it's abysmal)

As per usual, I don't own the guys, just use someone else's creations to the whims of my imagination from time to time.

This piece is a stand alone, Season One-ish. It was written for an iPod contest on Mibba; my song was _Strangers By Day_ by **Young and Divine**.

* * *

He always assumed I was still asleep when he left in the mornings. I heard him every time he shifted through our roughly strewn clothes about my room. Every shift of fabric as his boxers and pants slid up his legs, over his hips; that slight hiss of his zipper, the soft click of his belt and that ever so soft jingle of his dog-tags being ruffled as he pulled on his shirt. He never tied his boots; I never felt the bed dip, or hear my couch groan or a chair squeak at his weight to do such a thing, just the soft scuffle as he made his way out the doors. The soft swoosh and click of them closing behind him was my clue that we went back to the way things used to be.

_Large, calloused hands spreading my legs, pressing at my thighs; fingertips itching upwards towards the crease of thigh and hip, gentle nips of teeth alternating between thighs as they inch higher and higher till warm breath ghosts over…_

Of all people to lose words, the ability to speak—no one would ever think I could. Yet he does it, he can make the smartest man in two galaxies speechless. He steals the words right off the tip of my tongue, devouring me with his own words, creating an unfair battle. Our roles reversed, usually I can never shut up and he hardly ever speaks.

I glance around my room, the pre-dawn light faintly making its way in through my drapes. I shift enough to cast a glance at my clock—0400. I still had three hours to kill before I had to make it to the labs, and another six before the mission briefing.

_Fingers dance along my spine, counting each vertebra it seems; lips trailing directly behind each touch. His body giving off heat that warms me to my core, his tongue lapping at odd patches of sweat and all the while I can only moan in response. My hands reach out, trailing up his thigh, rubbing and grasping; I arch off the bed as his teeth clamp down on my left butt-cheek…_

I sit up, stretching, turning my thoughts off from last night. I can't believe I did it again, I _let_ him do it again. I climbed to my feet, stumbling into my bathroom, turning on the shower. I stared at myself in the mirror while the water heated up to my liking.

For being so smart you sure are an idiot McKay.

I wasn't even all that attractive; I surely was no John Sheppard. Not even close. I thought this was just a once over back at McMurdo, this is the third time since we've actually arrived at Atlantis. I sigh, tearing my gaze away from myself and step into my shower, letting the water cascade over me, washing away the remnants of last night—hopefully for the last time.

Once finished, I glance at my clock as I emerge from the bathroom—0515—perhaps I could check my mail, play a little chess against the computer. I dress quickly, ignoring the clothes still strewn about my room. I can't bring myself to touch them right now, not with what they signify.

_My back against the wall, hands grasping wherever they could reach me, my own tangle in the mess of hair atop his head and his mouth, his mouth covering my own. Pulling such primitive sounds from somewhere deep within me—how can he revert me to such a state? He growls as he presses himself closer to me, his erection—hot and heavy—rubbing against my right thigh…_

I groan as I lose within the first thirty seconds of playing against the computer—my mind is useless right now. I get to my feet, gather up my shoes and put them on and head out of my quarters. I need a walk, something to clear my mind—this has to stop. I find myself wandering the halls, not even taking in the breathtaking architecture that surrounds me. My thoughts cannot cease.

"Dr. McKay, Weir here, do you have a moment?"

I tap my ear-piece.

"Sure Elizabeth, what is it this time?"

"I need you in my office as soon as you can get here."

"On my way; McKay out."

I changed directions in the hall I was in, finding the nearest transporter and pressing the area signaling the center tower. The doors slid open and I found the stairs that would take me to the control room. I glanced up at her office, lights on—she's up early. Her voice didn't sound pressed or worried though. I nodded at Chuck before heading up the stairs to her office. I knocked before entering.

"Ah, good morning Rodney, I didn't wake you did I?"

I took a seat across from her and shook my head.

"No, I was having trouble sleeping. What can I do for you?"

She pursed her lips—not good—and folded her hands in front of her on the desk.

"Usually I'm all for not going above certain parts of the chain of command, however, this, I…Rodney, Major Sheppard has asked you to be a member of his off-world team correct?"

I nodded.

"Why haven't you given him your answer?"

I frowned—he had told her I hadn't given him an answer. I glanced down at her hands before bringing my gaze back up to hers.

"Elizabeth, I…I'm not sure I'm the best qualified, can't we just see how today's mission goes and then we can make my choice from there? I'm valuable, I didn't come on this expedition to be some space explorer; I came as a scientist, the Chief one at that. I expected to stay in my lab, looking at all the things the military contingents brought back."

She was measuring me. Judging my answer—ultimately she did have rank. If she wants me out there I have no choice but to obey her orders. She was in charge, even over the military.

"Very well Rodney. We'll see how today goes, you'll give me an answer after your return briefing, understood?"

I nodded.

"Dismissed. See you in a few hours."

I nodded again and took my leave. I decided to head to the mess, get something to eat then head down to my lab early. I glanced around the room, seeing if I noticed any of the faces of early risers—finding Sheppard's I quickly made way towards the food line. I gathered the food I wanted and made towards the table in the back corner, away from everyone else. It had only been a few weeks; we're all still adjusting and let's just say my reputation has preceded me once again.

I sat with my back towards everyone; it was just easier that way. I wouldn't have to see them point or stare as they whispered about me behind my back.

_My fingers clench into my sheets as I'm pounded into, each thrust pressing me further and further into my mattress. His eyes are locked with mine, something flashing through them, something I don't know how to classify. His breath hitches and I feel myself clamp around him, his eyes shut as he releases himself within me; the moment his eyes re-open and meet mine, I let go…_

I shove my tray away. This is ridiculous. I don't even know the man, all I know is he has the stupid gene that makes this city light up like an American fourth of July, and he's probably some kind of mentally unstable. In fact, I believe we all are. Everyone on this expedition is expendable according to Earth; otherwise we never would've been permitted on this (most likely) one way trip.

"McKay."

I tense at his voice.

"Major."

I hear his footsteps walk around to the other side of the table; he pulls out the chair and sits down. I don't let our gazes meet, that would mean he wins.

"Were you expecting a long conversation, I've got to get to the labs; Zimlenky might have ruined something while I was asleep."

I felt him smirk at me the moment those words left my mouth. We both know I didn't get much sleep last night.

"It's Zelenka, McKay, you know that. I only wanted to know if you've given thought to what I asked you yesterday, about joining my team, that's all. I'll still see you at 1000?"

I nodded, finally letting my eyes meet his. I grab my tray and hastily climb to my feet, ignoring the half-eaten breakfast and rush out of the mess. I could feel eyes on me—I knew they were his. I've felt that gaze numerous times before to mistake it for anyone else's.

I spent the next three hours tinkering about with gadgets and the database and before I realized it I was stepping through the gate onto some uninhabited planet. I can always send the archeologists back to this one; they might actually have a field day out of all the ruins spread about.

"Rodney, a word after the briefing."

She'd want her answer—as he'd want his. I nodded and let the other file in, seating ourselves around the table in the make-shift conference room. I told her my opinion of sending archeologists back; they would enjoy the time outside of the city—tell us if the ruins are recent or old. I let the others leave, offering a small nod for departure as they walked by.

Her gaze was heavy, like she knew something about me that she shouldn't. I fidgeted with my hands, looking anywhere but at her.

"Have you given this any thought or was your answer always going to be no?"

I bit my lip—something I haven't done since I was twelve.

_Teeth bit into my skin, where neck and shoulder meet. A soft, wet tongue darting out after each assault to sooth the brief flash of pain; I was in heaven. Calloused fingers encircled my erection, gently tugging and rubbing, occasionally squeezing, causing me to make the most desperate, wanton noises I've never even heard from porn…_

"I've actually decided to accept his offer."

We both could tell I was just as shocked as she was at my response. That's now what I had meant to say at all—but what's done is done. I couldn't take it back; it's too late as is. She offered me a sincere smile and nodded.

"Very well Rodney, good choice. I'm sure you'll be a great asset to our primary team."

I gave her a weak smile and dismissed myself without a backwards glance. I didn't realize where I was going till I ended up outside on the East Pier. I stood looking out over the watery horizon—nothing but ocean for miles and miles. I stood out long enough to realize that someone had joined me as the sun began to set. I didn't have to turn to know who it was; I just wanted to know why they were here.

"You missed dinner, I remember Doc saying you needed food every now and then or you'd get sick…thought I'd come find you and offer you a power bar."

I turned, letting myself openly look at him. Taking in all that he is; messy hair, hazel eyes that seem to change day to day, lithe form that can easily wrap itself around me (as he's done a few times now). I could go on, but that's all he is to me really, a mere body helping out another willing body.

"How long is this going to go on?"

He was taken back, that much was certain in his change of stance. I had startled him—good.

"What do you mean?"

I chuckled and shook my finger at him.

"Don't play dumb with me; I know you're smarter than you want everyone else to think you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

He stared at me, hard, before responding.

"You haven't complained so far."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"We're practically strangers! I don't even know anything about you! You surely don't know a thing about me."

"It's just sex McKay."

I felt gutted—of course. It's always _just_ sex. That's all I'm ever good for, a quick few rolls in the hay till they get bored and find someone a lot less complex. I straightened my shoulders, squared my jaw and held my head high.

"If that's all then Major, we're finished."

I walked away from him, ignoring his pathetic calls of my name and I headed towards the nearest transporter and hit the section of our quarters. I didn't care that it was merely 2000 and that I wasn't to be off duty till at least 2200. I headed directly to my room, locking out anyone. I removed my ear-piece and tossed it on my desk, not bothering to care if I broke it; flimsy piece of junk.

"_Say anything…name anything…I'll be yours."_

_My breath hitched in my throat as his heady words were whispered into my ear. I arched back into him, allowing his hands to roam over the expanse of my chest, his own rubbing against my back. My hands desperately searching for his, intertwining our fingers I led them swiftly down…_

I grabbed the nearest object and threw it across the room—and old science journal. I grabbed another, letting it bounce of the wall and onto the floor. I grabbed a stack of papers, ignoring the flutter and rustle as they fell to the floor. I picked up my shirt from yesterday, tossed that too. I removed a show and threw it at the wall, its thud echoing around my room. I left my laptops alone—thank god—but in the midst of my internal tantrum; I failed to hear my door slide open and closed.

I felt arms wrap around me. I tensed before I took in a deep breath. His scent overwhelmed me.

"Get off me and get out! I told you I was finished."

I felt his body press itself closer to mine, his breath hot against my right ear.

"I beg to differ _Rodney_, your heart's beating just as fast as mine."

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything but the here and now and what we've done. I could feel him growing hard against my butt, his body's heat permeating off of him in waves that was causing me to flush.

"I'll be yours, all you have to do is say."

I bit my lip.

"Mine."

"Yours."

I let him turn me around and face him; his lips pressing against my own, opening on their own accord. His hands ran up and down my back, one venturing further down, grabbing on and pulling me closer to him. I moaned into his mouth as our erections met in a harsh grind. His tongue entered my mouth, tracing my teeth, licking along the cavern, dancing with my own. My fingers inched down his torso, reaching the hem of his shirt, tugging and pulling till I could put my hands beneath the fabric and touch skin—him.

He led us over to my bed, pushing me down with his weight, pressing me once again into my mattress. I pulled away to catch my breath and to pull his shirt off. He attached his lips to mine again as one of his hands diverted to my fly. He unbuttoned and unzipped me in mere seconds before I felt his hand enclose around me. Roughly tugging and jerking as I moaned and whined into his mouth.

It was like he was sucking the breath right out of me, taking all he could get—and I just let him. He removed his hand and began to grind down on me, pressing harder and harder on each downward thrust of his hips. I was close, he was closer; I could feel it. He removed his lips with a soft pop, pressing them against my cheek, down my jaw and onto my neck, going for that one spot that makes me weak.

As he worked with his lips, teeth and tongue, hips grinding down into me, matching me thrust for thrust, I knew that whatever it was between us, it was coming alive; almost as if it were burning us from the inside out. I felt him tense just for a second, he was letting go. I felt a rush of warmth spread across the front of his pants, spreading onto my own. I held on as he rode out his orgasm, letting my own follow not too far behind with a small cry—_John_.


End file.
